Life doesn't go smoothly. One
surely will be encountered with ups and downs which sometimes make us hopeless
and sometimes make us mature and strong for the further circumstances. Life
itself is the collection of experiences. Some experiences are bitter, painful, and
troublesome whereas some are joyful and we expect them t to happen again and
again. Joyful experiences bring some sort of glow and smile on our face which
helps to re-energize the people. However, I am going to write about the bitter
experiences of my life. When I recall this event, I wish it wouldn't have
happened to me. It is the painful experience which still gives me pain. I don’t
want to remind this event because it has left some sort of negative impression.
This event happened to me
when I was in class nine and I was only thirteen years old. Except reading, I
used to listen to the radio programs all the time because I had no access to
television and internet service as there was no electricity in my village. Most
interesting thing is that I used to lend my ears to the radio programs even at
the time of home assignment. Every time I used to keep the radio along with me.
Those programs and radio had become my friends who would accompany me in the
lonesome time. I used to send the letters on different radio programs; whenever
my name used to be played, I would feel like a prestigious person and like a celebrity
inside my soul. There was one program called let’s make friends in which my
friends used to send the letters for the pen friendship. Pen friendship had
almost become the fashion and trend among my friends. Twice in a week, postman
would come carrying the bag with full of letters and in the break time he used
to handle the letters to the respective students. We sometimes were given
responsibility to handle the letters to our neighbors. Once I even sent the
letters to that program in which I mentioned my name, address and interest. My
purpose was not to make pen- friends rather I was interested to receive the
letters on my name which would make me feel like a great human being in the
world. After a week my name was played, than my happiness knew no bounds and I thought
that I would get the letters like my friends. Nearly ninety three letters were
posted on my name. Unfortunately, postman, instead of me handled all the
letters to the principal of my school. My friends would get only five or six
letters but something different had happened in my case. As my expectations, those
letters instead of making me happy made the worse situation.
One day as soon as the tiffin time was over, all the students entered our classroom. Surprisingly, principal also appeared in our room though it was not his teaching time. What was striking is that he had carried the pile of letters on his both hands. There was a profound silence in the class as everyone was curiously looking at his hands. He stared at me but I thought his staring was not for me. Every student had the giant and fearful image of the principal as he was very much aggressive. After the profound silence, he uttered my name breaking the silence and said, “Who is Deewakar Subedi?” I was astonished when I heard my name from his lips. I didn’t speak anything and my classmates started staring me like a new introduced object. Again furiously, principal pronounced my name and his words were like this, “Who is Deewakar in this classroom? Come front and take your letters.” When I heard these words, I had become hopeless and helpless. I didn’t dare to go front and principal came close to me, forcefully hustled me from my bench and made me to stand facing all the students. I was aghast and dumbfounded at that very time. My face looked as if blood would come out of my cheeks. I could feel the sense of heat inside me as I was trembling. I was not looking at his face rather I was bowing down helplessly. Suddenly I felt a thunder on my both cheeks. Than my tears rolled down through my cheeks; tears trickled down for two hours. Principal, pointing to me, satirically advised all the students to follow the same as I had done. Principal treated me like as I had committed the crime and sinful thing. No teacher had ever punished me like before that as I had been the obedient and studious student in the school level. He even read the few name and address which was mentioned on the envelope. He even scolded me offensively which I was not able to endure but I had no option except crying. Teasingly, he told showing the letters, "these are her books and in the exam she will secure good marks. You are brilliant student of our class, see what she reads and write." He didn't stop insulting me and took me to the staff-room. As the period was over, all the subject teachers even gathered in the staff room and they had discussed on the trend of pen friendship. They were continuously asking me different questions but I remained like a statue. No teachers could feel my pain and no one thought about what I was feeling right there. In my opinion, that was not an issue but they treated me very badly. Even in the staff room, Principal started scolding me but I kept on tolerating.
Honestly, I had the murderous feelings throughout years for the principal. Teachers even told me that they would inform my mother next day. After having a long discussion, they gave me all the letters and told me to go to the classroom and I obeyed them and came to the classroom holding the pile of letters. When I entered the classroom, I felt humiliation again when my so- called friends laughed at me and they started whispering with each other. They even teased me saying that I would get the first position by reading ninety three books. I didn't speak with anyone and held my head on the desk than I started sobbing. Whenever principal used to come to our class, I never paid any attention to his lecture rather I used to wish for his death in front of me and would scold him inside. Neither teachers nor my classmates supported me. Even in the classroom, my classmates treated me like an alien who had come from the unknown land. I was expecting someone to wipe out my tears and someone’s pat on my shoulder. I was expecting someone to tell the principal that I had not done anything wrong and his treatment was not good. My parents even had not punished me like that. My hopes were shattered because that was the most humiliating experience of my life. Before that, every teacher had the good impression of mine but this event in my thought proved me as a bad student though I had not done any wrong thing. That day when the classes were over, I went to home and revealed all the things to my Mom about how the principal punished me, how I got those letters and so on. Quite surprisingly, Mom didn't scold me rather she advised not to give reply those letters and she said that if I spent my time on such activities, I wouldn't have time for reading and writing activities. I even didn't read any letters and burnt them down .After that, my interest for study was slowly going down. I even stopped talking to my friends; I used to remain silent in the classroom because that punishment had created a fearful image of the teachers.
One day as soon as the tiffin time was over, all the students entered our classroom. Surprisingly, principal also appeared in our room though it was not his teaching time. What was striking is that he had carried the pile of letters on his both hands. There was a profound silence in the class as everyone was curiously looking at his hands. He stared at me but I thought his staring was not for me. Every student had the giant and fearful image of the principal as he was very much aggressive. After the profound silence, he uttered my name breaking the silence and said, “Who is Deewakar Subedi?” I was astonished when I heard my name from his lips. I didn’t speak anything and my classmates started staring me like a new introduced object. Again furiously, principal pronounced my name and his words were like this, “Who is Deewakar in this classroom? Come front and take your letters.” When I heard these words, I had become hopeless and helpless. I didn’t dare to go front and principal came close to me, forcefully hustled me from my bench and made me to stand facing all the students. I was aghast and dumbfounded at that very time. My face looked as if blood would come out of my cheeks. I could feel the sense of heat inside me as I was trembling. I was not looking at his face rather I was bowing down helplessly. Suddenly I felt a thunder on my both cheeks. Than my tears rolled down through my cheeks; tears trickled down for two hours. Principal, pointing to me, satirically advised all the students to follow the same as I had done. Principal treated me like as I had committed the crime and sinful thing. No teacher had ever punished me like before that as I had been the obedient and studious student in the school level. He even read the few name and address which was mentioned on the envelope. He even scolded me offensively which I was not able to endure but I had no option except crying. Teasingly, he told showing the letters, "these are her books and in the exam she will secure good marks. You are brilliant student of our class, see what she reads and write." He didn't stop insulting me and took me to the staff-room. As the period was over, all the subject teachers even gathered in the staff room and they had discussed on the trend of pen friendship. They were continuously asking me different questions but I remained like a statue. No teachers could feel my pain and no one thought about what I was feeling right there. In my opinion, that was not an issue but they treated me very badly. Even in the staff room, Principal started scolding me but I kept on tolerating.
Honestly, I had the murderous feelings throughout years for the principal. Teachers even told me that they would inform my mother next day. After having a long discussion, they gave me all the letters and told me to go to the classroom and I obeyed them and came to the classroom holding the pile of letters. When I entered the classroom, I felt humiliation again when my so- called friends laughed at me and they started whispering with each other. They even teased me saying that I would get the first position by reading ninety three books. I didn't speak with anyone and held my head on the desk than I started sobbing. Whenever principal used to come to our class, I never paid any attention to his lecture rather I used to wish for his death in front of me and would scold him inside. Neither teachers nor my classmates supported me. Even in the classroom, my classmates treated me like an alien who had come from the unknown land. I was expecting someone to wipe out my tears and someone’s pat on my shoulder. I was expecting someone to tell the principal that I had not done anything wrong and his treatment was not good. My parents even had not punished me like that. My hopes were shattered because that was the most humiliating experience of my life. Before that, every teacher had the good impression of mine but this event in my thought proved me as a bad student though I had not done any wrong thing. That day when the classes were over, I went to home and revealed all the things to my Mom about how the principal punished me, how I got those letters and so on. Quite surprisingly, Mom didn't scold me rather she advised not to give reply those letters and she said that if I spent my time on such activities, I wouldn't have time for reading and writing activities. I even didn't read any letters and burnt them down .After that, my interest for study was slowly going down. I even stopped talking to my friends; I used to remain silent in the classroom because that punishment had created a fearful image of the teachers.
What I have learnt from
this experience is that students shouldn't be punished because it gives mental
as well as physical trauma, torture to the respective students. Punishment
instead of bringing positive changes creates negative impression which
eventually becomes the obstacles for all round development of the children.
There is saying that teacher is the candle which burns itself but gives light
to others. When I recall this event, I think being a principal of that school,
he could have talked to me in the privacy and have suggested to me. Instead of
humiliating in front of all the students and teachers if he had suggested me
politely, I wouldn't have negative impression of him. I even appointed as a
teacher in the boarding school after the completion of bachelor level where I never
give any punishment to the students. Whenever I found my students doing
misdeed, instead of punishing them I used to give suggestion. As a result,
every student used to love me. The most important thing that I know from this
humiliating experience is that inspiration, motivation affection and care are
the elements that can bring the good changes in the students’ behavior. Teacher
should play the role of instructor and should pave the right way to the
students if they go the wrong way. Moreover, intention of my principal might be
good but the way he treated me was obviously not the right way because that created
more fearful image of the teachers. Sometimes because of humiliation and
punishment, students might do misdeed in the name of revenge.
-zealsubedi@yahoo.com
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